Well, hello, hello ladies. Episode number seven. Did you all have a good Thanksgiving? Here in Canada, it was just Thanksgiving. I hosted a friendsgiving. We had a fantastic time. I did a photo shoot on Saturday with some billion studios in Vancouver, who I've been wanting to shoot with for forever. And we just did some images for my new website coming out and for this podcast for marketing it. So by Sunday, I was ready, you all. I was ready to eat some food. I cooked a Turkey and all of the things, it was so much fun. We haven't done that in a really long time because of COVID and I just needed that. I needed the socialness of it. So how was your Thanksgiving? Did you eat all the Turkey? Did you try any of the Friday Coach Treats Recipes from my Kitchen? I want to know, tell me. Write a comment in the reviews and let me know, if you tried my recipes and how they turned out. I want to hear from you. All right. You guys.
So this episode is all about how to set goals. I've noticed especially lately. And this is over the last couple of years with all of the fad diets, trend diets, diet gimmicks and MLM style weight loss programs that have come out that women who come to me. I have given up on believing that they can do it. They don't even set goals because they know they won't achieve them. They think they know. They believe that they won't achieve them, which when you believe you won't achieve a goal, you're pretty much guaranteed to not achieve it. Yeah.
So let's talk about this for a second. Why do we lose faith? Why do we lose the belief in ourselves that we can achieve a goal? Our brain, remember episode four and our brain likes to keep us safe. And when we don't achieve a goal, when we feel like we have failed, when we give up, it feels painful. We're disappointed in ourselves. We feel guilty. We feel ashamed. And those feelings aren't great. And our brain doesn't like to feel them. So our brain is like, you shouldn't set goals. You won't achieve it. You might as well, just not, it's just going to end up feeling bad. And this is so common when I talk to clients who are thinking of coming into my transformation program. When I ask them, what's holding them back, fear of failing. And I'm like, why does failing scare you? And they're like, because I don't want to be disappointed in myself. And I asked them, I'm like, if you sign up for this program. And if you fall short of your final goal by two pounds and you lose 28 pounds instead of 30. Is that really a fail? And then they tell me they're afraid that they won't be able to follow through with the commitment to show up. And I asked them why. And it's because they've done it to themselves so many times. And I promise that I'm like, dude, I'm not going to let you go. I will not let you not show up. You have to finish all 16 weeks. I got you. So fear of failure is what holds so many women back from setting a goal in the first place. But the only way we get good at achieving goals is by setting them. I want to talk to you guys a little bit about how to set goals, how to set achievable goals, how to set goals that are going to prove to your brain that it is possible for you to achieve a goal. All right. I want you first to let go of the all or nothing mentality. I've told you this before. You are going to hear me repeat myself a lot, because literally the first time I tell you this, it's not going to sink in. The second time I tell you this, it probably won't either. You may have to hear me say it a hundred times. Being a perfectionist is not how you achieve your sculpted life. I know, I love saying I am all in. And I can say that because I know for me all in is B minus work. I've gotten very good at perfecting the imperfect. I am happy if it's 80% there. And there are times like, if we're competing or if we're really diving into a big goal that we need to do a little bit better than the 80-20. That's the extreme end of things. But here in this podcast where we talk about a sculpted life and we talk about living in that life all of the time. I really want you guys to strive to not be perfect. If you're following a new nutrition plan, a new nutrition protocol, a new diet, you want to try any diet. Decide that you don't have to be perfect. This is why with my nutrition, have you guys create a protocol for yourselves for the week, and then you get an exception meal that is not on your protocol and it's so that I'm forcing you to not be perfect. I'm like here, reward yourself and I don't like to use. We're going to talk about that later in today's call. I don't like to use food as a reward, but the exception meal allows you to know that you do not have to be perfect all of the time, because living up to that expectation is impossible. We're human, we are not perfect beings all of the time. So the first thing that I want to tell you about is how to set a goal. You guys aren't going to like this. Are you ready? Start super small, do not try to change everything, do not go completely out of your comfort zone. And clean out the fridge and all of the covers and completely change the way you eat. This works for some people,it does but for most people, it doesn't work. I want you to start with a baby habit. I want you to start with something that almost feels too easy. That 's a little bit laughable.
I want to talk about this for a second. So I set a goal in 2020, in January of 2020 to work out for one hour a day, every damn day of 2020. I lost it for days. Because an hour a day is a lot, that goal scared me from the hot and I was like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to commit to it, but I failed. But I didn't beat myself up for failing. I pulled that goal back out of the box in January of 2021. I like setting goals in January. I'm a new year's resolutioner or, but they're not resolutions, they're goals. We'll do it in January. You'll do it with me. I got through it. So in January, 2021, I've re-surfaced that goal. And I was like, how can I make this easy and enjoyable and something I look forward to doing. And so I changed it. I created the goal of doing 10 minutes of purposeful movement, every damn day of 2021 and you all. We're on like day 285. I don't even know what day of the year it is right now, but we've been doing this live in my Facebook group. If you guys aren't in my Facebook group, I have a ladies only Facebook group by Lylas Leona Transformation House. I go live every day for 10 minutes, in there and we do purposeful movement. It's themed each month. We have a lot of friggin fun. And I'm making it happen. I'm making it possible for me. Has it been perfect? No, I've missed three days this year., three. And I felt ashamed and I felt guilty about it, but It gave me room for improvement. Because I'm human, it does not have to be perfect. So in this case, I took my goal of 60 minutes and I divided it by six. So I want you to think about what you want. Let's say you want to lose 30 pounds. I want you to divide that by six. Let's say you want to run 6k, I want you to divide that by six. Start small, start with five pounds, start with one kilometer, start with changing one meal, start with dropping one bad habit, start with implementing one good habit. I want it to almost feel you guys, your first goal in the direction of your sculpted life should feel laughably easy. If I were to set it for you, you'd be like, Lylas, I can do that in my sleep. There is a reason for this you guys. I want you to achieve that goal because when you achieve the goal, your brain sees proof that you can achieve a goal. And there's a dopamine reaction and I want you to celebrate to achieving of that goal. I love having a reward set up for every goal that I write for myself. I'm a big fan of fitness clothing, fitness equipment, spa treatments, shopping, all of those things to me are great rewards for achieving my fitness goals. I also liked the idea of the exception meal at the end of the week, if you've had a really solid week of good nutrition where you've followed the plan, you set out for yourself. So if your goal over the course of the week is, let's say, to intermittent in fast, you don't want to eat a meal until noon. And so let's say every day, Monday to Friday, you achieved that goal then maybe on Saturday, you have an exception meal of French. And you have a nice big breakfast with eggs and some bacon and maybe some toast and you get that reward for the achieving of your intermittent fasting week. Right. That would be what an exception meal might look like. And the way that I teach nutrition is different you guys, for those of you who haven't heard me teach nutrition or aren't familiar with my work. The way that we look at exception meals is we test them out on our bodies. So not everyone's exception meal would look the same and you want to make sure that it's an exception meal that's serving you. So it shouldn't have an adverse reaction on your body. And of course an exception meal might cause the scale to go up for a day and that's okay. Join me over here, where we look at the scale with curiosity and fascination instead of with either excitement or shame or disappointment. The scale is just the data analytics tool my friends, there is no emotion attached to it. It just tells us the truth about what's going in and what's coming up, that's it. No emotion. It's literally like getting disappointed. If you weigh a chicken breast and it's not perfectly six ounces, let's say it weighs seven ounces, you wouldn't be devastated. You just cut off an ounce, right? So when we weigh in and it's not what we are expecting, we've got up a pound, don't cut off a foot. Be curious about it, why is this happening? What could I have done better? What could have caused this? Am I mens? I think I've talked to you guys about this. I seem to recall this, am I menstruating? Did I have more water than normal yesterday? Did I have more salt than normal yesterday? So many things influences our weight. There's no reason to get all emotional about it, just data. Plain and simple. Okay.
So going through the steps. We're not going to fear failure. We're going to let go of the perfectionism all or nothing mentality. We're going to start small. We're going to celebrate our wins. We're going to look for proof that we are succeeding. This is such an important part you guys, I am not kidding. Literally, I want you to show your brain, point out, say it out loud, celebrate every single goal you achieve. If you ate lunch exactly the way you were supposed to celebrate it, be like, yeah, look at me I'm doing it. If you ate dinner exactly the way you were supposed to. Yes, celebrate it. If you went to bed without a snack right now, I'm trying to break the habit of eating in bed. I like to have a snack and I've always had a bedtime snack, but I've gotten into the habit of eating in bed, which I do not like that habit. I don't want to wake up to dishes beside my bed. So I am breaking that habit. So when I go to bed, I like to brush my teeth and floss and do my moisturizing routine and then get into that. And haven't brought a bowl with me. I'll be like, yeah look at us girl. We're rocking life. Look at you achieving your goals, hitting your routine like that. You're winning. And pointed out to yourself. I point out my success to myself all the time, because our brain needs that, your brain is like, we talked about this in episode four, right? Your brain is just a reflection of everything it senses. Everything you sense, everything you see, you smell, you taste, you touch, you hear. Right. Your brain is just reflecting that back at you. That's what your thoughts are. You are not your thoughts. So In order to reprogram your brain with a positive image of yourself to believe that you can achieve things that you want to achieve, you need to prove to your brain that it's possible. You need to show it. You need to point it out. You need to make it very clear that you are winning at life. Brain, join me. Won't you stop pointing out all of the negatives. I have a worst case scenario, brain. That's a whole nother podcast. My brain likes to point out all of the things that could possibly happen. We'll talk about that another time my friends. I'm getting to the end of this podcast here. Okay.
Let's talk about setting big goals just for a second here. I want to do a whole nother podcast on big goals, but I would suggest setting little tiny, successful baby goals off the hop, but you can have a big goal, a You 2.0 goal. Did you guys do the exercise from last week? So if your goal is to lose 30 pounds, I've told you to divide that by six and start with five pounds. It doesn't mean that the 30 pounds has to go away. You can write it down and you can put it up. And you can work towards that. What I want to suggest to you with big goals, with big, scary goals that freak you out is don't put a deadline on it right away. If you want to lose 30 pounds, just decide that over the course of the next year, over the course of the next two years, over the course of the rest of my life, I'm going to lose 30 pounds. What you'll notice is when you do that your brain freaks out a little bit less. It's like, all right. I got like the rest of my life to do. I can get on board with that. This is something that I call massive action. We're going to dive into how to do this another podcast you guys. I know, I keep saying that there's a lot of podcasts to come you guys. Stay tuned. But just to give you a quick overview, what massive action means is when you set a goal, you do not stop trying to achieve that goal until it becomes a reality until you've achieved it. So it is impossible to fail when you take massive action, because the only way to fail is to give up and stop trying or to never start trying in the first place. All right.
So massive action means that you commit to trying until you achieve it. This is how I approach all of my goals right now. I think it's the funnest thing ever. It doesn't mean that every day is a win. It doesn't mean that it's always my number one, focus. It just means that it is not off the table. It is there in my view until I achieve it. And that's how I achieve all of my goals, you guys. Massive action, there is no room to fail. But I totally believe in failing forward, which is coming up in another podcast and this is failing to your goal, which we're going to talk about. So I don't believe in failing in terms of quitting my goal, but I totally am onboard for failing my way to my goal. Failure is not a bad thing. I'm going to teach you guys how to do it in a way that is going to be so productive and so proactive for you.
All right you guys. How to set a goal. Get over your fear of failure. Let go of the all or nothing. Start small. Celebrate your wins hard and loud. Look for proof, you are succeeding everywhere and pointed out to that brain of yours. All right my friends, that is our episode number seven. I will see you next week. Bye for now.
