#50 - 40 Things I've Learned
Hey, hey ladies. How are you? You guys, I had the craziest week. It's been insane. I turned 40 this past week and I feel like I have been going nonstop. We've had literally a week of celebrations and not all of the celebrations have been about me, but I've been attending celebrations nonstop and I moved into a girlfriend's house, she's in Portugal for the next few weeks. And I'm house sitting right now. So I have two dogs instead of one, because her puppy open is here and he's also under the age of one. So now I have two puppies under the age of one and it's kind of a full-time job. They do keep each other very entertained. But it's been really interesting figuring out scheduling and when and how long they need to go crazy for before they'll both conk out so I can work and record this podcast. It's been a lot of fun. I'm super excited for the next week where I'm like, digging deep into things like getting some things done and getting some work done because the last seven days, I feel like I've been playing hooky. I cleared my schedule on purpose so that I could really enjoy myself and get this move done as smoothly as possible. But starting today, I like dug in and I was like, I have so much to do so, but I get to do it from this beautiful townhome in, I dunno if you guys are familiar with Vancouver, but it's right in false Creek and it's, everything is super walk-able. The dog park is like a minute away. I parked my jeep and I don't expect to have to use it again for the next few weeks. I'm very excited about it. Okay.
You guys, this is episode number 50. What, how did we get to 50 episodes? I have no idea. It blows my mind that we've been doing this for almost a full year. Coming up, right? Crazy. So I was thinking to myself, I was like, wow. Episode 50 correlates with my 40th birthday. What can I do that is going to be spectacular that deserves to be the 50th episode. And I came up with a bunch of ideas and I decided to do episode 50 called 40 things I've learned. So in celebration of my 40th birthday, I'm going to go through 40 life lessons that I've learned and embraced and I want to pass it on to you. And some of them might be common sense and you might be like, Lylas I know that and that's fine. But I'm just, you know, reminding you. And if they're new to you, add them to your list because these are goodies. Okay. All right. These are in no particular order, literally over the last few months. I've just kept a notepad open in my phone and have been writing these down. I decided on this episode a few months ago. So I've been keeping track as I think of, like, oh, light bulb, oh, light bulb. I just write them in. I didn't change the order, I didn't organize them at all. So literally this is how they came to me. They're coming out to you. And I'm going to try and keep what I have to say about each one short because I don't want this episode to be like two hours long. Okay. We're going to try and keep it to like the 20 minute, 25 minute standard that we have in Lady Sculpt Lifestyle. Okay. So these are a combination of health and fitness, life, money, business, love, all of it. You in? You down? You are ready for my 40 things I've learned by 40. Okay. Here we go.
Number one, failure is not fatal, it's actually encouraged. You guys, for those of you out there who are afraid to fail, stop it. Try, fail, try again. Fail better. Right? Failure is what we need to learn new things. It's how we get better. One of the best things I learned how to do in the last 10 years was to fail on purpose. I fail forward. There's a whole episode on that. If you haven't listened to it yet, goes to it, it's called failing forward, literally. Okay.
Number two, wrote embrace the purple. You do not need to embrace the purple, but what I meant by that was just be you. One of my most transformative moments in the past 10 years has been somebody at was actually a branding coach. Who said to me, Lylas , what color do you think of when you think of your business? And I was like, it's purple. And she's like, okay, I want you to embrace the purple heart. And she gave me this permission to like, incorporate purple as much as I wanted to in my life. And it really allowed me to really be myself and anyone who knows me personally, or husband listening to this podcast for a while. You probably know I have a serious purple problem. I'd drive a purple jeep. I have purple in my hair. We had a purple party for my birthday. Like there is purple , in my life. And purple brings me all the joy. So there should be purple in my life, but I want you to find whatever brings you joy and be unapologetically you, embrace what brings you joy? What brings you happiness? What makes you, you and run with it? I give you permission. Okay.
Number three, your relationship with you is the most important relationship you will ever have. If you haven't started building a relationship with you yet. Do so actually have more on that throat, my list of forties, but just know that your relationship with you is the most important relationship you will ever have. So you need to spend time working on it, spend time with you. Spend time asking you questions about how you feel. I know, It's so true. Okay.
Number four, other people's opinions of me are none of my business. You guys, when I learned this and like fully embraced it. Everything shifted. This is when I stopped people pleasing. Literally people can think whatever they're going to think about me. Their opinions are none of my business. The only opinion. Really truly matters is my opinion of myself.
Okay. Number five, you ready? K.I.S.S, you've heard it before. I’d like to say at case is keep it simple sister instead of keep, keep it simple, stupid cause I think it's nicer. So keep it simple sister. Anything you want to do, anything you want to tackle? Any goals you set, any plans you make. Don't make them complicated, simplify. When you simplify things, you are way more likely to do it. I'm learning this, I'm learning to simplify the way I teach things to people because when I teach them, it's simply they're way more able to do it. And then they get more comfortable and more confident in doing it, which is essentially the goal. Right. So keep it simple.
Number six, your thoughts, create your feelings. And then I put a little mind blowing emoji. I learned this. No joke. You guys like five years ago. When I was 35, maybe 34 and it blew my mind. One of my coaches, Brooke Castillo. Has a podcast called the life coach school. And she said to me, she was the first person who told me your thoughts, create your feelings. And I was like, wait. I'm responsible for feeling terrible. Why do I do this to myself so much? It literally blew my mind. I had no idea. That my thoughts created my feelings. I went to my mom and I was like, well, I didn't tell you this. You guys, no one else can make you feel bad. No one else can hurt your feelings. Nobody else can piss you off. Other people can do things. They can say things. They can be whoever they want. Their actions are neutral until you have a thought about it. This is why two people can react to the same person saying something in two very different ways or the same circumstance in two very different ways. We saw this, a Tundra and Kobe. Everybody had different reactions to it. Right. So your thoughts create your feelings, which are going to essentially create your actions and your results. So if you don't like the way you feel, look into your own brain. Don't try to change the circumstances. Don't try to change another human. Look into your own brain and see what it is. You're thinking, in some cases you do need to, to reevaluate the environment that you're in, but look at your thoughts first because your thoughts can be your worst enemy. When you are not feeling the way you want to feel.
All right. Number seven. Number seven is just an extension of number six. It says, which means.dot, dot. You can choose to feel good, whatever the fuck you want. You guys, I teach this. So actually in the transformation program and the may transformation program, we just went through this in week 12. I teach generating emotion on purpose. So if thoughts create your feelings, it means you can choose thoughts that make you feel good So I choose to think. Purple is amazing. Purple brings me joy. So whenever I see purple, it literally generates joy because I see purple and I'm like, I love purple and I feel joy or love. Right. So, you can choose your own thoughts. That's what being human is all about. Right? That's what our prefrontal cortex is designed to do. It's designed to think about our thinking and choose thoughts on purpose. So if you want to feel differently, if you want to feel better, you need to decide to have better thoughts. And you can get help with this. You could, there is life coaches out there. You guys, the life coach school podcast is a gold mine of knowledge. If you haven't started listening to the life coach school podcast, and you love the mindset work I teach you'll love Brooke Castillo even more start at episode number one and go.
Okay. Um, number eight. You guys, this is taking so long. Okay. Number eight, it says gratitude and compassion. These are two feelings that I generate on purpose all of the time. Whenever I notice myself in a negative emotion that isn't serving me and I don't want to sit in it stew in it. This is like self-pity or annoyed like those kinds of really non-useful emotions, gratitude and compassion are the two emotions that I choose to generate. So gratitude in my life, whenever I'm annoyed at something, the way it's not working out, or I notice myself in a scarcity mindset or whatever. Gratitude is this magical emotion that when you create it or generate it, it completely dissolves any negative emotion. It's an amazing thing. And all you have to do to feel gratitude is think of all the things you're thankful for. Right. Clean drinking water. A roof over your head. The ability to work for a living your health. All of it. Right. All of it. Just find gratitude. Compassion is what I try and generate whenever I'm dealing with other people. So if someone cuts me off in traffic, I find my way to compassion. Right. They must be really busy. They can go ahead. I'm glad I'm not in a hurry. Right. Or if someone comes at me with their anger, I try and think of how I can be compassionate towards them. And, you know, I asked them, is there something I can do to make you feel better? Like, what do you need to feel better? And usually people can't think of anything that would make them feel better because there are thoughts that need to change in order for them to feel better.
Okay. Number nine, courage and kindness. This is a lesson my mama taught me. She said, Lylas. This goes through life with courage and kindness. And it's a lesson that I've lived by since, as long as I can remember, whenever I'm scared, I generate courage on purpose whenever I can, I'm as kind as I possibly can be. Going through life from a place of courage and kindness has always led me to the right place. It's led me to have the thought, I'll be okay. I always land on my feet. I can figure this out. Having courage means I can figure this out. So, if you want to borrow it. My mama can teach you courage and kindness. You guys, those are the two emotions you can generate that will propel you forward. Go forward. Move forward, move into life from a place of courage and kindness.
Number 10, when in doubt, do the thing. When you are wanting to do something, or there is a thing in front of you or someone has offered you and it is scary and there's fear. When in doubt do the thing. If you're thinking of starting a business, but you're in doubt of yourself or self-doubt, do it. You will learn more from doing it and failing than you'll ever learn from sitting on the sidelines. All right. When in doubt do the thing. If you're having self doubt, you're moving in the right direction. It means you're stretching yourself. It means you are pushing your boundaries. It means you're having to learn. And that is progress that is moving forward. That is exactly where you want to be. If you are not doubting, you're not pushing. You should be in doubt. When in doubt do the thing. All right.
Number 11, value ahead of time creating abundance with belief. Okay. So this is kind of a business one. If any of you out there are wanting to start your own business or get into entrepreneurial. One of the things I learned that really changed the way my brain worked was creating value ahead of time. So, Brooke Castillo actually was one of the coaches that taught me this as well, but rather than saying, Hey, you need to pay me to train you. When I learned value ahead of time, which meant putting my knowledge out into the world with, creating your own nutrition protocol guide, or the three steps to your first competition guide, those were my first value ahead of time creations. And now this podcast is a big way that I put value into the world ahead of time. And what it does is it creates abundance ahead of time. So by me putting out my value into the world and not expecting anything back. It creates this beautiful magnetic law of attraction of abundance, because I'm putting value into the world, it's guaranteed that value will come back to me. I don't know when and the value may not be by, you know, each specific listener that listens will then purchase a program or join transformation or join Lady Sculpt. No, but because I'm putting value into the world. it's guaranteed to come back to me. And when I started working from this mindset, it made me feel so good to put value out into the world, give things away for free. Tell people, help people, coach people for free. And I'm on a mission now. There's a few of you who know this about me. I want to put so much value into the world that the law of attraction just has no choice, but to give me a winning lottery ticket. So I buy lottery tickets each week, because I know when I've put enough value into the world. I will be gifted a lotto max winning ticket or my business will grow into a multi-million dollar coaching collective, which would be amazing, more amazing than the lottery actually. But that's the goal. If I put damage value into the world, it will come back to me. So if you are someone who struggles with scarcity, or is struggling with wanting to make more money, whether it be in employment or as an entrepreneur, put more value out ahead of time. And it's amazing that we'll come back to you.
Okay. Number 12, travel as much as possible. This is something that I had forgotten about. Young Lylas traveled a ton. I started traveling at a pretty young age. My mom was a big road tripper. She'd throw everything into one of those big VW Volkswagen vans and we'd just drive every weekend. And so I grew up very gypsy like. And, uh, so I was never afraid to travel. In my teens and my twenties, I traveled a ton. I lived in a ton of different places and as I grew up in my thirties, I really kind of settled down in Manitoba, which was great because I got to launch my own business and I'd take a couple trips a year. And then when we moved to Whistler, BC life was really expensive. So we didn't travel a ton When I was thinking of these things and travel came up in my brain. I was like, I miss traveling. And I mean, COVID has stopped us from traveling as much as we'd like as well. But it's something that now that the world is opening back up again. And even in my province or my country, there's so much I haven't seen. And traveling, forces us to have courage and be brave and meet people and explore and grow. And it's so good for the soul. And something that I love you guys, if you haven't tried this, I highly recommend it is to try traveling alone. It brings up some fear. There's this like I'm by myself fear, but it's also extremely rewarding to get to know yourself and to be reliant on just yourself and to give yourself that space. I remember a couple of years ago before COVID started. Me and my senior dog Baldwin took my jeep and just drove down the west coast of the US. We drove through Washington, state, Oregon and all through California, and then over to Arizona, just the two of us. And it was the most amazing trip. So if you don't want to be alone, take an animal. But travel by yourself. It gives you time to build a relationship with you, which remembers the most important relationship you can work on. Number three. Okay, you guys. So number 12, travel as much as possible.
Number 13, lean into fear and discomfort. Do scary shit. Okay. This is kind of similar to when in doubt do the thing. So this is about more so like leaning into fear and discomfort. When something doesn't feel comfortable for us as humans, we like to find pleasure. We like to self gratify with food or with TV or with video games or alcohol or anything addictive. But when we are willing to feel the discomfort, and do the thing anyway, and lean into the fear and the discomfort that is when magic happens. So I want you guys to start leaning into that discomfort. When you feel fear, know that you're on the right path and I don't want to second guess intuition, there's something different. And I'm a big believer in intuition. I've walked down alleyways at night where my gut said, Lylas turn around and go the long way and I've done it. And I don't know why, but I did it. And there's a difference between fear and intuition. Intuition is like a gut reaction it like it makes you nauseous almost immediately. Fear, you know when you are having fear of failure. So there's a difference between fear for your life and fear of failure. Right. And if you're fearing failure, you need to lean into that cause it's okay to fail. We need to fail to grow. Okay. Number 15. No, sorry.
Number 14, we don't want to miss this one. Good friends are super special. Treat them that way. If you have friends from high school that have known you. For like all of your stages, nurture those friendships. Remember them on birthdays, try and remember anniversaries, call them up every now and then and say, I love you and I miss your face. Let's do something together. The best friends I have, it doesn't matter if we've gone six days or six months without talking, when we come together, it's like no time has passed, the friends that you don't worry about getting dolled up for the friends. You can show up in your pajamas and there's mascara running down your face because you're upset because your dog died and they will love you so hard. Right and cry with you. Those are the friends that you need to hold onto the ones that are Instagram friends, the ones that you feel like you need to be dialed up for the superficial friends those friends come and go. And there are many of them out there, but the good friends, the soul friends, the friends that help you up level and cheer you on when you have success. Those are the friends you got to hold on too tight. Let them know you love them. All right.
Number 15, be strategic with your entourage. The people you surround yourself with, this kind of goes in with 14. So this is something I talk about a lot with my weight loss plan, that was dude, with my weight loss clients, with my ladies called clients. The people you surround yourself with there's a saying out there, you're the combination of the five people you hang out with the most. So really look around you. Who do you spend your time with? Do the people that you spend the most time with inspire you. Are they the people you want to be more like. And if they don't, if you're struggling to find an up-leveled entourage, I'm going to give you my secret, something I did three years ago, four years ago now is I looked around and I didn't see anyone doing what I wanted to do in the business world. I wanted friends that were killing it in online coaching communities. I wanted friends that could help me up level my business mindset, my financial mindset in online coaching and so what I did is I just went and found friends with podcasts. And none of them knew that they were becoming my friends, but I flooded my life in listening to people that knew more than me and had done what I wanted to do. And I surrounded myself with their knowledge and it was the exact same as having an entourage. So if you're trying to lose weight and the people around you are overweight, find podcasts, find Facebook groups, find coaching programs that will help you do that because the people around you may not be the best influences. They may not be the best support system for you off of the hop, and whether those people end up staying in your life or not during the process, what might happen is you may end up being their motivational entourage when they see you losing the weight they might become motivated to do so, too, which is super fun. Right. But if you want to up level in any area of your business, weight loss, competition prep, money mindset, entrepreneurship, relationships, family, any of it? Find people who are doing what you want to do and learn from them. It is the fastest way to improve and to get where you want to go. Okay.
Number 16, learn something new every year. You guys, I think you should learn something new every quarter but that might be for access and people like myself right now in my business. I'm learning something new. What feels like every week. Maybe every month, it's a lot. Right. But if you want to keep progressing, if you want to keep moving forward, you need to learn something new every year. You need to keep challenging your brain and your body and prove to yourself, you can. I have a great example of this one, too. When I was 36, I bought a standard Jeep Wrangler. When I bought the purple standard Jeep Wrangler, I did not know how to drive standard. It freaked me out. My husband drove the Jeep home from the lot. And I learned how to drive standard and it took me about two weeks to sell my Kia Sportage. And I remember thinking to you guys, when I sold that Kia Sportage I had this thought, I'm never going to be able to drive in the city again. Like I was stalling at every stop sign. I was a terrible standard driver. But day after day, week after week, I forced myself to keep learning and keep doing it now, amazing. Right. It only took me a few months to feel confident at it to become more capable at it. You only have to do something 10,000 times. So I only had to stall like 10,000 times, right. But learning how to drive that standard in my thirties was such a good reminder to me that I could still learn new things that I was not too old. You are never too old. Learn something new every year.
Number 17, do epic shit badly. Be okay with being a beginner. So this is so in line with the, you know, leaning into failure and facing the fear and doing the thing. I love this quote, the do epic shit badly. I think it's from the wonderful Brooke Castillo as well. I learned a lot from her. But what I love about this quote is sometimes we want to do epic shit. Sometimes we look at what people are doing and we're like, yes, we want to do that. But then there's instantly a fear of, will I be good enough? And, you guys. You will never be good at something until you fail a hundred times. I look at one of my friends right now who lives in Squamish BC is learning how to slackline and it's beautiful and majestic and there's mountains. And she's like 17,000 feet up. And you're tied in and you walk this line and it scares the heck out of me. But I'm like, that is epic. And the first time I ever do it, I haven't tried it yet, but I'm going to the first time I ever do it, I do not expect to be good at it. And it's going to scare the piss out of me. That is like some serious, like fear of failure combined with like life-threatening, but when you trust your gear and you trust the people who teach you, it's all right, it's kinda like rock climbing, which I've done before. So I can create confidence ahead of time, because I'm like, if I can rock climb, I can do slackline, I can figure it out. Right. But you see other people doing epic things andi I want you to go for it, but be okay with being a beginner. Know that you're going to have to do it 10,000 times before you master it. So just like learning to walk right. You're not, you're gonna, you're gonna fall so much and it's fine. Every time you fall, you get stronger. Every time you push back up, you build the muscle you need to take those first steps. That's how we do it as babies, every single one of us has learned to walk. We didn't give up. We didn't stop trying. We are not crawling around, right. We're walking, we learned. Attack everything in life, the same way you learn to walk. That should be one of those that's like, um, where are we here? That's 17. B. Attack every obstacle as if you were learning to walk. Okay.
Number 18, perfectionism kills dreams, goals, action. Embrace B minus work. You guys, the 80:20 mindset. This is something that I cannot teach often enough. I feel like every time I teach this, people are like, oh yeah, I needed that reminder. Perfectionism slows you down so much. I used to call myself a perfectionism and wear it around like a badge of honor. No, I do not know nothing is perfect now I put it out into the world. You get it with spelling mistakes. Hopefully not too many. Right? My podcasts aren't edited perfectly because they take me twice as long to do it. If I did it, I'm getting ready to hand them over to an assistant. And I know she's not going to do them as well as I do them, but that's okay. They don't have to be perfect. They just need to get out there into the world. So you guys can learn from them, right? So perfectionism kills dreams. Where in your life are you a perfectionist? You know, are you skipping workouts because you can't do them perfectly? If you don't have an hour to get the full workout in, do you skip it completely? If you did 80% of it, you'd be much better off my friends. Do not perfectionism your dreams away. Okay, go after it. Even at 80%, you're way better off. Okay.
Number 19, learn to speak your truth. And then I put in brackets last, maybe, but I didn't see that when I was proofreading this. So it's number 19, learn to speak your truth is about figuring out what you believe in, what you like, what your opinion is and speak it. Do not self doubt, do not worry about other people's opinions, figure out who you are, build a relationship with you, figure out what you like, what you want, what your opinions are. Don't be afraid to be you, If people don't like you for being you, they're not your people. You'll find your people. And when you do find your people, they will be authentic and it will be real and it will be deep and it will be soul connections. And those are the people you want to hold on to. All right.
Number 20, be proud of who you are. You have a purpose here. You are worthy of everything you want. You are unique for a reason, figure out what it is and you will find your purpose. Wow. That was a long one. Okay. So this kind of bows in line with speak your truth, right? What are you uniquely here for? What is your purpose? When you really get to know you better, it will become more clear. Be proud of who you are when you look at your life right now, when you look at what you do, how you show up for work, how you show up in your relationships your body. Are you proud of you? Or could you be doing something different that would make you more proud of you? What would you need to do to be proud of who you are. Go, move in that direction. Figure out what your purpose here in this world is what legacy you want to leave behind. You are unique. And only you can create that legacy.
Number 21, when women support each other really authentically and abundantly amazing things happen. You guys, I'm just starting to embrace this for years. For years, I did not trust women. And in the last five years, I have embraced, helping and supporting and elevating women and magic things are happening. So for the women out here, listening to this podcast. Support and encourage and empower the women around you. Let's not break each other down. When you have a judgment on another woman the way she looks, what she's dressed, the her job, whatever. Know that it has way more to do with you than her. That shows you where your insecurities are, where your thoughts are. All right. We need to love each other and empower and support each other in every way possible. Where are we?
Number 22. oh, this is a good one. What you put into your body directly affects your health physically and mentally. Nutrition is everything. So this is not even fitness you guys, but what you put into your body, the liquids that you drink, the alcohol you consume, the food that you eat, then nutrients that you give your body, the supplements you take, all of it. What you put into your body directly affects your health physically and mentally. So if you are not currently satisfied with your physical health or your mental health, check your intake. I'm a big believer that nutrition is one of the most underutilized mental health support we can use, exercise too, but I'm talking about nutrition right now. What you put into your body directly affects your cellular level. Remember that. All right.
Number 23, learn to love your body first, then decide to change from a place of love. This is for all my ladies out there, who are hating on their bodies? Your body is the most incredible machine on this planet. For my mama's out there, your body has birthed humans. For my athletes out there, even if you're 40 or 50 and do not feel like an athlete anymore, think about everything you've put your body through physically. I'm 40 and I think about how many competitions I've done. The fact that I learned gymnastics at 26, how many times I spent all night dancing and stilettos in Vegas, right? Like everything I've put my body through and I'm like holy crap body. I am so glad you're still functioning. Like you could have tapped out years ago. Right. Find a way to love your body right now, in the shape it's in. If you are overweight and you look at your body and you think, oh, I look gross, I want you to create a relationship with your body now from a place of love. I want you to connect with your body and be like, I am so sorry for not putting you first. I'm so sorry that I've spent all these years feeding my emotions instead of processing them and deciding to make a change, commit to a change. If you're ready to do that. The 16 week transformation program for September comes up in like three weeks. And that's all we talk about there is emotional eating and how to do better, lylasleona.com. I'll put it in the show notes.
Number 24, learn to love money and create a relationship with it. This is like, People might not like this. You might be triggered by this, but I really want you to open your mind to this, when you can learn to love money and you create a relationship with it. Money is just like anything else. The only thing that creates the relationship you have with money is your thoughts about it? So if you're in a scarcity mindset where you're, there isn't enough money, you don't make enough money. There's too many bills. The world is too expensive. The economy is going to shit. Inflation is going to kill you. All those thoughts are creating a very negative relationship with money. But when you can think thoughts of money is everywhere, I can create and earn as much money as I need. When you change your thoughts about money, when you learn to love and appreciate and have gratitude for money, when you change that relationship. Money becomes super fun. And when you can learn to change your relationship and your abundancy level with money, you start having a lot more control over how much you make. We did a whole call on sculpting money in Lady Sculpt where I've taught a kind of mindset around how to have a better relationship with money. So if you're interested in learning more about that joint Lady Sculpt. Okay.
Number 25, life is like wine. It keeps getting better. This is something I've kind of always believed about life. But let me tell you, I mean, some of my listeners are older than me, for sure. But if you're under 40. When I turned 20, I was like, it's never going to get better than this. And then I turned 21 and I went down to the states and then I lived in Vegas for a few years and I was like, it's never going to get better than this. And then I turned 30, so my twenties were great, but when I turned 30, 30 was an amazing year for me. I met my husband that year,I won my first pro card that year. I finally felt like I had arrived. I was successful. I was an adult. I did not feel guilty spending a thousand dollars at Lulu lemon. Right. 30 was a good year. I just turned 40. I am so fucking excited about my forties. You guys, what I've created in the world through my thirties has set me up for such a successful fourth decade. I cannot wait to see where I'm at, at 50. And this is a lot of what I teach in life coaching, but creating a life for your future self that's actually one of the coming up. Lessons here but it just keeps getting better. And if you feel like life is not getting better, it's a sign that you need to change. You need to lean into fear. You need to shake it up a little bit. You need to travel, you need to do something. To make it more uncomfortable so that you can make it better. Okay. Alright, are you drinking my Kool-Aid? Where are we?
26, you are not your thoughts or your past actions. You get to be whoever you want to be, so you are not your thoughts. The first part of this is a big one. So remember that your brain kicks out 60,000 thoughts a day, and most of them are just reflections of what the brain learns through media and through radio and through, you know, your parents when you're a little. Your thoughts are computer generated by your brain. They are not you, when you disconnect yourself from your brain and realize that, you have a ton of unconscious thoughts. And the more time you spend creating purposeful thoughts, the better your thoughts are going to get. The more control you'll feel you'd like you have over your thoughts. But every once in a while, I have a thought that's crazy town. And I have to remind myself, I'm like, I am not my thoughts. I don't even know where that one came from, that one can be thrown out. We don't need to recycle that one. Right. But remembering that you were not your thoughts, let's dig into this a little bit deeper. You are not your past, decisions you made as your past. If you went through the vulnerability series with me, you know, I've made some mistakes. There are things that I feel shame and guilt over in my life but I do not keep beating myself up for it. I do not keep allowing myself to feel negative about it. I'm like, oh, I learned from that. I won't do that again. Right. That's where I was when I was 11 or 15 or 19, I did that stupid thing. I bullied that person. I stole that stuff. Right. That does not make me a bad person. I made a bad decision, I learned from it. I'm a much better human now. And now I get a chance to decide who I want to be tomorrow and the next day. And the next day after that. I am not my past. Okay. You guys.
Number 27, love is love. Loving yourself as the most important love you can create. So this is goes along with the relationship part, but I'm learning that love is love. And what I'm really learning is that my love cup can be filled from so many different things. My love cup can be filled from my family, my spouse, my girlfriends, or from a stranger on the street. When you meet somebody, who's love cup is full, you can feel it, they exude love. And you can soak that in. And it's weird because I've met people recently that are so loving and it almost, like freaks me out at first because it's not normal anymore, but it also shows me exactly who I want to be. Right. So love is love. I want you guys to open yourselves up to be loved and the best way to do that is to love yourself first because it's really hard to accept love from other people, if you don't love yourself, or if you think you are unworthy of love. So you are a hundred percent or the of love my friend, love yourself first and then love is love. Enjoy the love and this also is a big shout out to anyone out there whose love looks different. If you love somebody who is the same sex, or if you love somebody that the world doesn't agree you should love, it doesn't matter. Love is love, period.
Number 28, a feeling is just a vibration in your body. Be willing to feel any feeling. This is so good, you guys. This is a lesson that once you learn, you can do anything, fear, anger, resentment, loneliness, cravings, food cravings. All of it. Just feelings in your body. They're just vibrations. Once you can really name a feeling and choose to sit and feel it and process it. You realize there's nothing to be afraid of. There's nothing to eat over. There's nothing to shy away from. It's just a vibration in your body. And the more you're willing to sit with any vibration, the more you're willing to process your feelings, the more you're going to be willing to put yourself out into the world and risk humiliation, failure, and being judged all of it. And when you can risk humiliation and failure and being judged, you are ready for big things my friend. Number 28, a feeling is just a vibration in your body. Be willing to feel any feeling.
Number 29. Not everyone's going to like you, it doesn't make you any less spectacular. It may not even be about you, right. So this is another one I learned during my, I did a ton of work on people, pleasing and stopping. People pleasing and I remember when I was doing that work, someone talked about not everyone likes a peach, it doesn't make the peach any less spectacular. And so I changed this a little bit. I really like wine. So I compare myself to a really nice, fine vintage red wine. Not everyone likes to find vintage red wine. Some people like cheap red wine. Some people prefer beer. Some people don't drink alcohol at all. Right. It doesn't mean the wine is any less amazing or complex or expensive or perfect. It just means that wine is not that person's forte. And this is exactly how we need to look at other people. I used to spend so much time trying to fit everybody's expectation of who they wanted me to be. I needed to be liked by everyone. And if I wasn't bother me to the core of my being. And now, I'm like, oh, they just don't like wine, their loss. Right. Okay.
Next one, number 30, this one's important. Are you guys ready for this? Drink water three to four liters every damn day. You guys, water is the cheapest most valuable resource we have for our health and for sustainable weight loss. I talk about drinking water in the nutrition series, the podcast itself is called, are you wet enough? If you haven't listened to it yet, and you've had trouble drinking water, go listen to it. It will help you. If your goal is weight loss, drinking more water is one of the best tips I can give you and it's free. Come on. Drink more water.
31, working out means you get to eat way more. This is my way of motivating you all to work out. My women in Lady Sculpt, I love the mentality that's in there right now, because everyone in there is trying to way less and eat more, and like that is a life goal. Right. But there is a very strategic way of doing it that builds your metabolism up so that you don't gain weight so that you build more muscle and If you are somebody who wants to lean out, lose weight, look better and eat more. It is possible for you, just saying.
Number 32, it's okay to want to look amazing. This is a big one. I train a lot of women who think it's vain to want to look amazing. I asked them, you know, why do you want to lose weight? And they say, oh, for health. And I'm like, is that really why and eventually they get to the bottom of it, they're just, they just want to look confident in a bikini or they just want to look confident, naked, or they want to look amazing in those rich jean shorts or they want to compete and they feel guilty. It feels like vanity. It feels vain to them. You guys, It is okay to want to look amazing. Want to look amazing for you though. It's really important that you think you look amazing. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. right, right, right. Okay.
Number 33, what you want is worthy. Who cares? What do other people think? This one goes along with 32. It's not just okay to want to look amazing. It's also okay to want what you want. Whatever that is, right. If you want to make a million dollars, you do not need to feel greedy. It's okay to want what you want, what you want is worthy, what you want has a lot to do with your purpose. If you want more. If you want a higher standard of living or you want a better relationship or you want a better body, that is a sign that you need to move in that direction and it's going to be scary and you're going to fail and there's going to be roadblocks and it's fine but if you have an urge, If you have a want, It's a sign that there is more for you that your purpose is bigger. Move towards that one. Your want is worthy. Who cares? What other people think. If other people don't support what you want, it's often a sign that they fear losing you, or they fear being left behind. Right. Maybe their dreams aren't as big as yours. That has nothing to do with you. What you want is worthy.
Number 34, if you have a dream or an idea or a calling, it means it is possible for you. This goes along with what you want is worthy. If you've ever had a dream of doing something, traveling around the world or creating a business or a product that doesn't exist or making a product better. If it popped into your brain, even for a brief second, it means that you have the capacity to make it possible. It's weird the way the universe works. I've learned that anything that my brain creates, anything my brain comes up with, it means that there is potential, there is a path forward for me to create it. It also scares the hell out of me because my brain comes up with a ton of ideas. I'm like, oh, which one should I choose? But know that if you have a dream or an idea or a calling, it means it is possible for you. You get to choose, your work is to find the way, only you can create from your brain. Okay.
Number 35. We're almost there. You guys, you with me, a long podcast. Create your life for your future self. This is how I show up you guys. This is how I show up and create these podcasts each week. This is how I create programs for Lady Sculpt. This is how I do my workouts and feed myself. Everything I do is not for the gratification I feel today, it's for my future self. Everything I'm doing in life right now today, is for my future self, is for me next week, next month, next year. This is why planning rest time, ahead of time and setting goals and creating what I want in the future is so important. It allows me to build a future for me, for her. I think of my future self is almost a separate person for myself. I have a relationship with my past self. I call her my inner child and I have a relationship with my future self. I don't have a name for hurting my future self, But I have a relationship with my past self where I nurture her and forgive her and I'm compassionate towards her and her fears and how long it took her to figure things out and the methods that she used in the things she did. And then I also have a relationship with my future self, where I talk about doing things for her. And I am willing to sit in discomfort and fear and the heart and the figuring it out of it for her because I want her to have better. I want her to have more. I want her to have amazing opportunities to travel the world and help thousands of women. Number 35, create your life for your future self. Right? Create your nutrition. Now your workouts now for you one year from now. Know that right now at this moment is not going to be comfortable. It doesn't matter a year from now, it will be. When you can start living like that, you will achieve more than 95% of the world.
Number 36, create a relationship with your past and future self. Okay, you guys, we just talked about this. I've created a relationship with my past and future self. When you can create a relationship with your past and future self, you have two best friends. I am never alone. I always have two people that know me super well that I can super count on. That has my back, we're a lot of fun. We hang out together a lot. We create the goals. And we talk about our past and our hurts and our traumas and we process things. And, you know, when you can sit with yourself and be comfortable and be okay. You're never dependent and that's a beautiful feeling.
Number 37, every day, take one minute and breathe deeply. Take a moment and feel your life. This is something that's new to me. I just recently started doing it. And some people would call it breath work. Some people would call it meditation. I just like to sit outside in the fresh air and breathe. And I just set a timer for one minute and I focus on inhaling through my nose and exhaling through my mouth. And sometimes I picture the air being colorful, usually purple. And I just like to feel my life because our breath is our life. Right. I sit in gratitude and I always come out of it feeling amazing. So I passed that little tool, that little trick on to you.
Number 38, you and your body are a team. I think I actually talked. About this already today. But just a quick reminder that you and your body should be working together towards your goals, right? You are not separate from your body. Your body is not working against you. If you think your body is working against you,that is the problem, that's your thought when you can come together with your body and work together as a team and listen to it and feel compassionate to what it does not want to do what it's comfortable doing, what it's capable of doing what it's strong enough to do. And you don't push it past its limits, that's when your limits expand. Right. If you haven't trained in 10 years. when you go back to training. be a beginner. It's okay. Don't push yourself to what you used to do in your twenties. You will get injured. And then you will feel like your body is working. Against you, but you it's your fault. You beat it up. All right. Number 38, you and your body are a team.
Number 39, this one's an important one. You guys, dogs can change your life. I put in brackets, pets besides the dogs, because maybe you're a cat person or a rabbit person or a horse person. Animals can change your life. I recently was talking to someone who believes that our animals are our soul guides. They're sent here to help guide our lives. And I loved this idea. I truly believe that having animals in your life can change your life for the better. It also makes you more disciplined and more responsible. It also gives you unconditional love. At all times, which is super special. All right. You guys, number 40. You ready?
This is the last one, dance daily buddy buddy. So this is something that I forgot. I used to dance all the time. I loved dancing. And in the last few years I've kind of stopped. I don't know if it was COVID or the fact that my husband doesn't dance, but I stopped and I've recently started dancing again. And you guys, when you dance, when you move your body, when you listen to music, even if you don't have music and you just dance and the music is in your head. When you move your body, energy shakes out of your body and when you dance negative energy shakes out of your body. Now, if you're somebody who is self-conscious about dancing. Dance in private, dance alone. I was recently attending one of Tony Robbins' virtual seminars, and he had us get up and dance and I was in my living room and no one could see me and I danced and shook it out and it was amazing. And I was like, I need to do this every day. So I want to challenge you. Like one minute of breathing deeply and appreciating your life. Like the life that is in your body, like your actual having a life, not the life that is all the materialistic things around you, but literally one minute of breathing and appreciating the life that is within your body. And one minute of dancing. One song, not even a full song, just dance. And if you aren't physically capable of dancing on your feet, dance in a chair. Just shake out the energy release, the negative energy from your body. This is somatic therapy, like literally helping let that negative energy release by shaking it out. And then I would actually do the dancing first and then do the breathing so that you're dancing out the negative. And breathing in the positive breathing in life. All right. You guys. That's my 40 things I've learned. By 40.
This podcast is going to be an hour. That's crazy. All right. You guys thank you for staying with me through all 40 things. I am so appreciative to all my listeners out there for being with me over the last 50 episodes, I look forward to the next 50 with you. I'll see you next week for a brand new series. I'm not going to tell you what it is just yet. Episode 51 coming your way next Wednesday. See you then.
